I’mma be me

5 Feb

I think I just had a mini epiphany. You know that feeling when you want to scream at the top of your lungs, until your voice goes hoarse? When you feel like no matter how hard you try to screw your head, nothing seems to mesh? When your insides are literally crawling because they can’t find the right place?

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That was me. Twenty minutes ago.

I was sitting on my unmade bed, with my back against the wall, and computer on my lap, miserable, thinking what the f*ck.

And then it hit me. I’ve been surrounding myself with things have been subconsciously killing my mental and emotional well being; not all the time, not even a majority, maybe 30% of the time.  Well I’m happy to announce I’m getting that 30% back.

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I’m not ready to dive into that bag o’ tricks, but this feels good.

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Here some real facts about me:

  1. I’m super broke and getting broker.
  2. I spent $70 dollars on dinner Thursday night. It was fabulous. I don’t regret it.
  3. I think I look pretty good in most pictures.
  4. I bought a rotisserie chicken for a dish I’m making tomorrow. I ate the two drum sticks standing in my kitchen, skin and all.
  5. I’m good at doing hair.
  6. I worry I don’t love my friends as much as they love me.
  7. I’m proud of the relationship I have with my grandparents. Although I’ll be a wreck when they pass, I won’t have any regrets. I love them with every ounce of my being, and they know that.
  8. I have four half siblings that I have no relationship with.
  9. My mom and I are closer than any mother/daughter relationship I’ve seen.
  10. I pick my cuticles till the bleed. I know it’s gross, but I can’t seem to stop.
  11. I ran a half marathon and didn’t train for it. Who does that?
  12. I’ve never been in love.
  13. I really want to lose weight, but because of number 4 it’s pretty hard.
  14. I’m kinda selfish.
  15. There’s someone who I constantly think about.
  16. I drink way to much when I go out. Sometimes 10-12 beers. Sorry for partying.
  17. I slowing getting into photography thanks to blog reading.
  18. I have really good rhythm.
  19. I’d rather be broke for the rest of my life and be truly happy.
  20. I really want to start going to church again. I attempted to kill two birds with one stone at yoga. But I’m really not into the meditation and chanting.

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8 Responses to “I’mma be me”

  1. Shannon [Tropical Eats] February 5, 2011 at 11:36 pm #

    this is why i ❤ you.

    Keep rockin it girl. Life is more fun when it's a party.. and you're now my hero knowing that you didnt train for that half marathon.

    Seriously, that is beyondddddd epic.

    May I please join you in your bday festivities coming up?! 🙂 (I just got caught up on ALL of your posts)

    Love reading New Yorker blogs!

    • Shannon February 5, 2011 at 11:47 pm #

      Thanks so much. This seriously made me smile and OF COURSE you can join me for my birthday festivities!

  2. Sara February 6, 2011 at 11:54 pm #

    ummm shan!- 75% of this list are facts about me too.. thanks for making me feel better 🙂

    • Shannon February 7, 2011 at 9:52 am #

      Aw sar! I miss you. Get to the city STAT.

  3. Kat February 8, 2011 at 9:55 pm #

    I just adore this list. That is all 🙂

  4. Brenna [fabuleuxdestin] February 16, 2011 at 6:29 pm #

    Wait a minute – can I just say you are the cutest !! Rock on! I am also extremely broke because I spent my entire paycheck on a trip to morocco to ride through the desert on a camel? My aunt just emailed me this epic piece of advice: your twenties are about coming to terms with ourseves and figuriig out who we really are. It doesn’t happen overnight and you’re on a great start gf!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Getting in the flow « Freshman Year of Life - February 13, 2011

    […] I’ve had an awesome week since posting this. […]

  2. Arabian Nights « Freshman Year of Life - February 24, 2011

    […] Yes I like to share some of what I eat, recipes I try and half marathons I don’t train for, but for now I’m just trying to be me. […]

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